:/

So there I was, faithful readers, going against everything that I knew. Yes, it can be said that tonight i was outside my comfort zone. I was at Flinders St Station by myself ( well i was after Christine left on her train). I must say, it wasn't as bad as i had imagined it would be. I sat there on the bench, minding my own business and just stared off into my own little world. Thoughts about the seminar on China/Taiwan relations floating through my mind...And then alas, my train came and i boarded it...Ah, but things were not to go my way tonight. For from Parliament station till Tottenham station...i had this FOB sit opposite me..stareing at me the whole way. It wasn't like stareing as in the occasional glance stareing- i could live with that. NO this was like...full on...almost right in your face stareing. The guy must have been like 21 of something but omg...freakiest thing ever. I started reading a book to avoid him looking at me, but with each page that I turned, I felt his gaze on me...and not in a good way :/ To make matters worse, when my parents called, his eyes turned on my phone ( which is like the biggest brick alive but hey it still dials out ) and after i told dad to be at Keilor Plains station in 15 minutes, he turns on me and asks for my number:/ Normally if this happened and i declined, i'd feel flattered that i had been asked. But this is different. I felt so uncomfortable, he was inches near invading my personal space. Yes, i know, i know, i should've said something like " yeah sure 1-800- FUCK OFF" but im not used to this sort of thing ( shaz, shut up! that was a one off) ...

MEN!

What can I say? I feel as though there really are no words to expain how I am feeling now. Hollow, empty, sad, angry, bewildered, pissed off, really pissed off, really really really pissed off....heartbrokern one might even say. We had a connection, he and I. We knew where we stood, we had our roles. We only got to see each other once a week as fate would have it but it was worth it. Sometimes it took 2 mintues, other times an eternity...but it was worth it. Now its over, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSSED TO DO? I'M LONELY...so very lonely. My saturdays will no longer be the same. I feel as though a hole has been burned into it...*sighs*.....Faithful reader i get the feeling you're asking yourselves , "who the f**k is she talking about?" His name is Jonathon Biggins. LOL NOOOOO! Nothing like that! He used to be a columnist in the Good Weekend magazine of the saturday Age. I've since discovered that he has now quit. MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THE WHOLE DAMN MEDIA INDUSTRY ...AND HE JUST LEAVES!!! And no!! I wasn't in love with him ( i'm not that deluded), i was in love with his column. a.k.a. his writing. But now he has left and i just feel so lost. My Saturday's have lost all meaning....I REFUSE TO READ THE AGE...okay thats a lie. BuT STILL~~ A little warning would've been nice. Not a " hi, its me again and i just have to let you know that this is my last coloumn". AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRHHHHHHHHHHH!! MEN!

SILENCE I SAY!

My family have left me!! No, not literally. But I am home alone right now. I was left home alone for the first time at the age of sixteen. Thus, you guessed it! I'm a wuss. When I'm left home alone at night, all the lights are on, the tv is on, music is playing, the cordless is next to me, my mobile is ready to ring ( the number 000) and nearby I have obscure objects at the ready...just in case. I dont know what it is I'm expecting...a robbery...attempted murder...a psychopathic stalker...I'm just scared. It's merely afternoon now and already the noises are getting to me. I'm one who cannot cope with silence...something to do with the dark and silence that scares me. Thus I hear everything. Right now, the Beatles are playing..its about the billionth time I've heard their albulm today but all the same, its calming! Maybe its McCartneys voice or Lennon's lyrics ...it's just calming...its noise and not silent. I've been doing homework for the past two hours and I took in all the sounds- the pen scrawling on the page, pages turning in the text book, my own breathing even the maniac birds outside. It's not all bad though. I mean being by myself means...FREEDOM! All the rooms are mine. Hell, the pantry's even mine! If Heartbeat were still on, I guess I'd be excited over the fact the TV control was mine, but its not...thus I dont care. I shall sign off now faithful reader and get back to my world of silence and the Beatles.